Discovering My Mission

I've always felt like I was "too much" for the people around me. I talk too loudly, I speak too directly, I think too passionately.

I was told that I scared people. That I was intimidating. That I had an over-inflated ego (...well, as a teenager, that was true... just take a look at my senior picture below).

I thought it was good to be curious,
     but maybe I ask "why?" too much.
I thought it was good to have self-confidence,
     but maybe I believe in myself too much.
I thought it was good to explore,
     but maybe I take risks too much.

So I tricked myself into believing that
smaller + quieter + less(er) = better.

And then, I became a coach. And I discovered that the very traits I had been trying to hide were the exact reasons that people were drawn to my coaching. I discovered that instead of shrinking myself down, I could expand myself out. And instead of scaring people away, I had clients running toward me.

I discovered that God called me to become a coach because it is the place where my deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet {Frederick Buechner}.

an invitation

I didn't realize how much I had internalized the messages of "quieter, smaller, lesser" until a retreat with my (former) physical theatre company in the summer of 2010. At the time, I had been married 10 years, had given birth to my first daughter, was a working artist, and my husband and I had started our first church. I thought I had it all together!

On the last day of the retreat, the company took turns encouraging one another and affirming the strengths that we saw in each member. When the circle turned to me, my fellow artists instantly had a challenge. 

"Nicole, we want you to SPEAK UP MORE. We want to hear your voice. We want your ideas! You are a leader, and we don't want you to hold back."

I sat in that circle and cried. For the first time, I was being invited to be me. ALL of me.

the Great Remembering

I've been obsessed with personality assessments for as long as I can remember (looooong before BuzzFeed). I took seriously the Delphic maxim to "Know Thyself" and have spent my life learning everything I can about how I think, what motivates me, what discourages me, my innate talents, and my fatal flaws.

I like who I am. But in most areas of my life, I don’t like being me.

I know what it feels like to be in a role (have a title, be a gender, hold a position) that has loads of expectations attached to it. I know what it means to push against those norms, not because I want to make trouble, but simply because the norms don’t fit.

And yet, in spite of knowing this, when I started my business, I so easily slipped into comparison, fear, and smallness! When I began getting on coaching calls, I was practically holding my breath, waiting to fail. In the beginning, I was constantly wondering how I was being perceived, if I had been too direct, if my words were too harsh, if my thoughts were too out-of-the-box.

It was exhausting!

I can only behave
according to what I believe about myself.
And if I am worried about fitting in,
or pleasing others, then I am letting
OTHER PEOPLE’S BELIEFS have more power than my own.
I am giving someone else the power over my life.

{Only God deserves to have power over my life!}

So one day, I suddenly remembered myself,
and I stood in my full strength
and I coached the heck out of a conversation.

And that person hired me.

My Mission

When I am coaching, I feel the most alive.

I am the most connected to my passions and my talents.
I am the most open to innovation and possibility.
I am the most capable of giving generously and serving powerfully.

Paradoxically, it is when I am coaching that I am also the least focused on myself.

I am the least concerned about being impressive or proving my value.
I am the least worried about being accepted or being liked.
I am the least interested in building myself up.

When I show up according to my design, I serve others without concern for myself. I cannot think of a more FREEING or more POWERFUL way to live.

I believe that every single person was
designed with good in mind.

I believe that the more conscious we are about WHO we are - not what we do, or what is expected of us, or what role/title/ position we have - then the more we will achieve the great purpose that we are intended for.

My mission is to help
raise your consciousness
of your true identity
so that you are free to live out
your grand purpose. 

Are you interested in knowing more about yourself and clarifying the mission that YOU are on? Are you ready to stop holding yourself back and start living in freedom? Let's have a conversation about how to help you OWN your powerful purpose!